BLOG MyyyyyAsssss

Dear Blog MyyyyyAsssss,
I'm confused and I'm hoping you can straighten me out.
I'm an eighteen-year-old muslim living in Canada. My parents were sent here twenty years ago to scope out the country and report back when the time was ripe for MuslimMania.
I'm torn between the teachings of my religion, my parents, and what all the white kids are saying over at Little League.
Should I do what Mom says and blow up my Little League dressingroom? Or should I just take the white kid's picking on me because I have a fuse sticking out the top of my t-shirt?
Life was a lot simpler before I reached puberty. Now that I know about the 72 virgin thing waiting for me in Muslim Heaven, I'm really torn.
Incidentally, I notice you always refer to 29 virgins. You know something I don't?

Dear pimple-faced muslim puke,
I use the number 29, 27, anything other than 72 just to shortchange you stupid bastards.
First off, how is your little league team doing and how many games you got left to make the playoffs? If you can't mathematically make it then I'd go along with dear old Mom.
Okay, I was eighteen once so I'm gonna clue you in to something you obviously don't know:
That baseball you throw around and that mitt you wear to catch with are made out of 'pigskin'. So what I'm saying here is click on this link and see what dumbass Muslims like you are scared shitless about.
Let me know what you decide to do besides getting out of Little League.
Best,
Blog MyyyyyAsssss